Guess who’s back, Diva’s back, tell a friend, guess who’s back ….

Diva’s back, tell a friend
Guess who’s back,
guess who’s back,
guess who’s back,
guess who’s back
guess who’s back
Guess who’s back…

Don’t you just love Eminem!

How AMAZING and refreshing has this break from The Diva – and her tacky camel-toey skinny jeans – been the past three months???

<SIGH>

But all good things must come to an end.

It’s not like The Diva really works anyways.  I guess what I was really happy about is the media black-out and this nice break from all that baseless crap and lies that they write about how “hard working” The Diva is.

Is it just me, or does anyone else get anxiety when you click open the Daily Fail and see the words “STUNS,” “KATE EFFECT,” “NORMAL,” “SHE HAS DONE IT AGAIN,” “JUST LIKE US,” “FASHION ICON” …  Maybe we should start a new support group. BADMS: Bloggers Against Diva Media Spin.

Anywho, not to get too much off topic, but there is nothing I wanted more for the Diva than for her to have a daughter! I was so happy when this happened.  There is going to be a LOT of questions and explaining to do to this little girl when she gets older! A daughter will, in a weird and profound way, hold her more accountable. Hopefully, Mommy Dearest doesn’t brainwash her like she did everyone else!

Welcome to the world Princess C!

And, not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I think the new PR guy is reading my blog and taking some serious notes. It seems like my idea that NO ONE wants to see The Lazy Duo resonated with the new PR guy. I always stated that Prince G is media gold for these two lazeabouts.

And that is exactly what Mr. PR gave us!

June 06 – Baby Pictures Released -Lazy Duo FINALLY released a super cute photo of the siblings.  Even thought The Diva took the photo.  Why would she ever let those royalties go to someone else!?
June 13 – Trooping of The Colour –  Prince G totally stole the show by sticking his tongue out, being cute and waving to everyone. The Diva was thankfully in the background where she belongs.  Don’t get me started on Bill …..
June 15 – Charity polo match – Prince G was running about being all cute about himself. The media tried to point out how “SLIM AND SKINNY The Diva is six weeks post birth” O.M.G NO. ONE. CARES!!!! Once again, when Prince G is in the pictures NO ONE cares about her and she is overshadowed by the plumpmaster prince himself.  Camel-toey skinny jeans always overshadow The Diva and make the world cringe a little! #throwaway #firetashtoday

What I like about seeing the kiddos is the excitement and innocence they have.  The thing that has been lost with The Lazy Duo since they got married is the excitement to be royal. They have been nothing but Debbie Downer curmudgeons. They look like they are getting tortured when they make an appearance and alls they do is suck the royal perks dry with zero in return. It was very refreshing to see a royal get excited about a royal event … even if he is only a year and a half! Excitement from the top trickles down to the people.

I still think The Lazy Duo should abdicate and go hide and “be private” in Amner Hall forever.  However, I will take the Prince G pics any day of the week!

I hope and pray The Diva stays hidden for the rest of the summer. I love this Diva time out and want it to last a little longer.

Oh wait … Princess C’s super duper private secret baptism is coming in early July :/

Spin, Spin, Spin! I get sooo dizzy!

Here we go again.

SPIN. SPIN. SPIN. 

Lazy Duo lie about due date – giving an earlier date – and the press try to brainwash us that she is a week overdue. In the meantime, she is swimming with Prince G at Buckingham Palace.  This happened last pregnancy as well.

SPIN. SPIN. SPIN.

Then the PR spin get out of control by claiming that The Diva is so GRAND and has been beautifully transformed the last four years.  Click HERE to read the article.

Seems like the new PR guy is picking up the poop in Prince G’s diapers, throwing it against the wall and seeing if it sticks.

This was my favorite quote: Wants to live a ‘normal life’ but is thought to be grand behind the scenes”

TRANSLATION – Diva is doing a GRAND job spending the taxpayers money and a GRAND job mooching off the royal perks without having to work and hiding behind the “normal” excuse!!! Blah blah blah at this point

Actually, after the “spare” is born she is officially “done” and “safe” with her duties in her eyes. The wait and fear of these perks ever being taken away will be officially over!

In the meantime, I cannot think of one instance where she has said or done anything to make any kind of positive change in the world with her powerful platform on ANY issue. NOTHING. All of her appearances are filled with vacant stares and being a robot. And to be quite honest, I don’t even like her fashion sense. I think she cheapens the monarchy with her short skirt, jackets and not dressing age appropriate.

In fact, all we have seen the last four years is her naked body parts …. at least 10 times.

So Happy Anniversary Lazy Duo! You are still as lazy and entitled as when you got married 4 years ago!

Also, do you think she is having a boy or a girl?

To My Readers

Dear Readers,

Thank you for your comments, questions and concerns.  I cannot apologize anymore for my MIA, as it is by design.

The reality is my beautiful baby is not the reason for this blog getting shorter and not writing as much. It is The Diva herself. It’s actually EXHAUSTING writing the same comments for someone for almost 3 years.  It is like I can copy and paste all my old blogs and they are still as relevant as they were when I started.  I can now sympathize with The Diva – as I now know what being a robot feels like #ZINGER

I also understand that it is very easy to take things personal when you have invested so many emotions and have dedicated time in reading a blog. I GET IT!  People react in different way and lashing out seems like an easy solution for some. But do not fret! I do not take anything personally and I appreciate your loyalty to this blog and anyone who sticks up for me.  I read everything you write and I will commit these things to you:

  • I will commit to updating my Diva 2015 Tally.
  • Once every two weeks I will post articles that I like so you can comment and have a forum to discuss this hot topic.
  • When The Diva comes back from maternity leave I will begin blogging more.

THANKS AGAIN and remember “Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.”

xo, DoD

UPDATE: Back in 2012 I had posted that I am always open to contributing authors. Click HERE for the details and directions.

Could Your Ever Imagine The Diva In This Leadership Role!???

The defiance of Jordan: Queen Rania leads thousands of protesters on the streets of Amman to honour ‘Martyr Moaz’ who was burned alive by ISIS 

NEVER!

January Month In Review (2015)

Hello Dear Readers!

Since The Diva barely works, I figured it might be easier for me to have a monthly performance review blog post to save time (and my sanity). As much as I love repeating myself  for a third year, I have more important things to focus on.

This new format will continue to showcase just how much The Diva does not work, continues to take advantage of her platform, abuses her power and as one of my readers @MLouise pointed out “is given (undeserved) credit.”

So 2015 began with The Diva taking a month off for the holidays and letting her family take advantage of her royal perks by letting them freeload in her castles/mansions and dissing the Queen Bee in the meantime by barely spending anytime with the RF1.0 . Basically this was a RF2.0 vacation before their big Jan vacation.

Knowing that the public despises her family and the backlash from last years laziness, SOMEONE  must have advised she so SOMETHING before she jest off for Mustique.  So she did her last minute cluster appearance thingy and banged out several appearances all at once so she can disappear to doing what she always does; shopping and vacationing.

This is what January 2015 looked like:

  1. January 14, 2015 – Shopping. Always Shopping & “Three Musketeers” get their own Instagram and Twitter accounts.
  2. January 15, 2015 – Barlby Primary School – Name New Art Room
  3. January 16, 2015 – The Fostering Network Visit
  4. January 19, 2015 – Family Friends Visit
  5. January 22, 2015 – Shopping
  6. January 23, 2015 – Vacation to Mustique with RF2.0

Same old. Same old. Lazy and loving her royal perks!

Important January 2015 Diva Notes:

  • Diva spent more time flying to Mustiqiue than on engagements this month. Let alone counting her time actually vacationing and celebrating Mommy Dearests’ big 6-0. Safe to say Mommy Dearests’ dreams have all come true …. well except having a royal title. But I am sure that will be happening sooner than later.
  • The most interesting thing that stuck out this month, is that when The Diva got caught in her true element – shopping -and didn’t realize eyes were on her, she looks absolutely MISERABLE! It just goes to show how much of a robot and “on’ she truly is on her engagements and also showcases how unhappy she is in “real life.”
  • The Lazy Duo’s new PR guy, begins in February. I hope he reads my blog! I don’t know how sustainable this role really is for him or anyone for that matter. But I am sure he will be putting out some puke-worthy articles that will make us laugh and or throw up in our mouths. If he knows what is good for him he should get out pictures and stories out about Prince Plump and baby #2 ASAP.
  • PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE check out the @KensingtonRoyal on Instagram and Twitter. The pics of the Diva are UBER awkward. And of course, they take the lazy way out AGAIN and create accounts for three people. That way they don’t have to manage the accounts, have any unique voice about anything and of course NOT WORK at it.
  • The #FIRETASHTODAY campaign continues.

I would love to know your thoughts on the Diva’s embarrassing January work load!

 

 

 

Diva’s Year In Review (2014)

Happy New Year’s Dear Readers! I would like to begin by thanking you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog.

The year conveniently ended with The Daily Fail asking, “Is Kate pulling her weight on royal duties? Duchess attends just 76 public engagements in 2014 while Philip, aged 93, turned up at 200″ FINALLY! A serious and reasonable question to ask by a media outlet.

Anyways, the simple answer is: HA HA HA NO! 

I guess if I had to sum up this year, I would say that The Diva proved us all right (again). She is nothing but a lazy woman who abuses her power position, has completely lost sight of what her REAL and royal duties are; HER COUNTRY AND THE PEOPLE IN IT and lastly still very much loves to flash her bits!

The year began with The Diva taking a three month hiatus. Why? No one really knows. What we know for certain is that she took advantage of her time “off” from royal duties to vacation, shop and go to personal events.

12/11/13 – 02/11/14 – Diva took off for more “maternity leave”
01/14 – Week in Mystique in private luxury villa
02/18/14 – Baptism (personal event)
03/06/14 – Week in Maldives at the Cheval Blanc Randheli Resort
03/29/14 – Wedding (personal event)

Don’t worry, at this same time Billy Boy was running away from duties as well by taking a 10 week course away from his family and vacationing in Spain with ex-girlfriends. Peter Pan syndrome much?

Then people got PISSED and the Palace PR said “RELAX measly subjects! You see, she NEEDS the time off because she has a GRUELING New Zealand/Australia tour coming up.”

Then the measly subjects saw the “GRUELING” NZ/AU itinerary and could not help but notice that the two weeks that was marketed as SOOO grueling really seemed like an extended luxury vacation.  Then the measly subjects were like, “HEY, were is Prince G!? We want to see this little guy!”

In the meantime, by the time this EXHAUSTING tour came about, The Diva only made FOUR (yes 4) royal appearances,. NONE of which were charity appearances:

02/11/14 – National Portrait Gallery Tour
02/14/14 – Opening of The ICAP Art Room
02/17/14 – Buckingham Palace Party (for TV/film actors)
03/17/14 – 1st Battalion Irish Guards for annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade

The 2nd Quarter started and this NZ/AU tour/luxury vacation that was suppose to be The Diva’s redemption from twirl-gate on Remembrance Day, the big flash at Place2Be and her three month haitus. However, it turned out to be an even bigger disaster with The Diva having a “Marilyn Monroe moment” in New Zealand – I call it a crotch shot – and a butt shot down under ….. no pun intended. lol

Ironically, this 2 week tour, with multiple visits per day, made up HALF of The Diva’s royal engagements this year.  The wine tasting, the zoo visit, the play-date, the Opera House, the galleries ETC … OH SO EXHAUSTING! But do not worry, The Lazy Duo got four “rest days” during this debilitating tour staying at one of the worlds most beautiful luxury retreats. HOW TERRIBLE!

04/07/14 – 04/09/14 – R&R at the Wharekauhau Lodge Luxury Retreat
04/15/14 – New Zealand Rest Day
04/21/14 – Australia Rest Day

And after holding Prince G hostage for almost 10 months, they finally unveiled his plumpiness in New Zealand, like NOT Britain, the country they represent. #hugediss

Anyways, to end Quarter 2 The Diva made three more appearances in June. How nice of her!

06/06/14 – D-Day Normandy Visit
06/10/14 – National Maritime Museum & Garden Party (2)

Then the summer began. Looking back now and knowing that she was not pregnant and did not have HG, any big tours or basically ANY excuses to hold her back from working and making up for her terrible first half of the year she makes SIX (yes 0-6) appearances.  Most notably, she made her FIRST – of three – charity appearances of the year.  This is also the time when their PR agent peaced out … wonder why!? (sarcasm)

Quarter 3 – July-September, 2014 (92 Days):

Charitable Appearances (1):
07/01/14 – MPACT School Visit

Royal Duty Appearances (5):
07/05/14 – Tour de France Launch
07/28/14 – Day 1 – Commonwealth Games
07/29/14 – Day 2 – Commonwealth Games
08/04/14 – Solemn World War I Services
08/05/14 – Tower of London Amid Sea of Red Poppies

Royal Celebrity Appearances (1):
07/09/14 – Men’s Tennis Finals Wimbledon

The Diva made sure to spend more time at a tennis match that she has at any of her charities all year (like i said, she never lets us down with her entitlement and abuse of power).  Then by the end of the quarter the Palace made a big announcement: The Diva is preggers with the spare. Then the Palace PR and media began a campaign of overusing and abusing the words grueling, debilitating and HG.

By the time the final quarter of the year came The Diva made a MIRACULOUS recovery from her death bed just in time to go to NYC for a St. Andrews reunion!  But of course, they couldn’t go without justifying the visit …. what to choose?? what to choose!?? ENDANGERED SPECIES! YES! A SAFE CHARITY! And the measly subjects bought it! YESSSSSS. Diva #WINNING again! Boy does she love her perks and getting away with it!

Urgh! But The Diva had to WORK for this visit because she cancelled so many events in her won country!

Charitable Appearances (2):
11/12/14 – Sportsaid Workshop
11/25/14 – EACH Engagement

Royal Duty Appearances (21):
10/21/14 – State Visit Ceremonies & Photography Awards Gala
10/23/14 – Action on Addiction Gala
11/08/14 – Visit to the Pembroke Oil Refinery in Wales
11/10/14 – Remembrance Day
11/13/14 – Royal Variety Performance
11/19/14 – Place2be Wellbeing in Schools Awards Reception at Kensington Palace

So the year ended with The Diva lying once again for another free vacation. Read my NYC visit review here.  

But of course the year could not officially end without some RF2.0 controversy. Why not invite the crew to Christmas with the royals, since all of the other in laws will be there ….. oh wait….. none of them are. But those pesky Middashians have to CASH IN one more time ….

To sum up the Diva’s year; She is still using her platform as her bathroom. She is #2ing all over it and expecting her “measly subjects” to deal with the smell.

MY WISH FOR 2015

  • For the Diva to throw away her skinny jeans
  • Tash to get fired
  • For The Lazy Duo to choose SOMETHING, ANYTHING to be passionate about.  You cannot support endangered species and then get caught HUNTING! I mean the stupidity of these two idiots is staggering.

In light of recent events, may I recommend an anti sex slavery trade charity? It seems like a good cause to start supporting in 2015.

Boom.

Here are the official royal engagement numbers from 2011-2014. One word comes to mind: LAZY. Why? Because numbers never lie.

Number-of-engagements-2014

2014 Royal Engagement Numbers

2013 RE

2013 Royal Engagement Numbers

2012 RFE

2012 Royal Engagement Numbers

2011 RFE

2011 Royal Engagement Numbers

 

 

 

 

Diva’s Last Appearances of The Year (2014)

Since The Diva’s St Andrews Reunion/NYC vacation she has made three appearances.

  1. 12/16/14 – Beaver Scouts Visit – Tried to squeeze one last  appearance in 2014 before she takes the next year off for family vacations, a babymoon and the longest maternity leaves of all time.  I love how she tried to be “casual.” I am sure another genius (snark) style tip from Tash #firetashtoday
  2. 12/17/14 – Queen’s Annual Christmas LunchPrince G made the lunch and was seated alongside nanny Maria Theresa Borrallo (I just wanted to say her full name out loud). 
  3. 12/24/14 – Christmas Day Services – The Lazy Duo’s obligatory hand holding this time of year always makes me laugh. Prince G was “too noisy” to go. I do not think The Lazy Duo get that people don’t want to see them anymore, but they want to see Prince Plump. And I can add a notch to the Cashing In Tally for the RF2.0.  I envision a lot of ultimatums behind closed doors about inviting her family to the royal Christmas service and dinner. “If MUMMY DEAREST CAN’T GO, I WON’T EITHER!”  

What really bothers me, and it has since these two lazeabouts got married, is that they never do any special holiday charity appearances for the people they are suppose to be representing.  For all the privileges and perks that they love to abuse, the holidays would be a nice time to share the wealth and pay it forward to people in their country that are not as lucky as them.

Anyways, the year has ended for The Laziest Duchess in all of the land.

Look out for my Year-In-Review blog next!

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