Happy New Year’s Dear Readers! I would like to begin by thanking you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog.
The year conveniently ended with The Daily Fail asking, “Is Kate pulling her weight on royal duties? Duchess attends just 76 public engagements in 2014 while Philip, aged 93, turned up at 200” FINALLY! A serious and reasonable question to ask by a media outlet.
Anyways, the simple answer is: HA HA HA NO!
I guess if I had to sum up this year, I would say that The Diva proved us all right (again). She is nothing but a lazy woman who abuses her power position, has completely lost sight of what her REAL and royal duties are; HER COUNTRY AND THE PEOPLE IN IT and lastly still very much loves to flash her bits!
The year began with The Diva taking a three month hiatus. Why? No one really knows. What we know for certain is that she took advantage of her time “off” from royal duties to vacation, shop and go to personal events.
12/11/13 – 02/11/14 – Diva took off for more “maternity leave”
01/14 – Week in Mystique in private luxury villa
02/18/14 – Baptism (personal event)
03/06/14 – Week in Maldives at the Cheval Blanc Randheli Resort
03/29/14 – Wedding (personal event)
Don’t worry, at this same time Billy Boy was running away from duties as well by taking a 10 week course away from his family and vacationing in Spain with ex-girlfriends. Peter Pan syndrome much?
Then people got PISSED and the Palace PR said “RELAX measly subjects! You see, she NEEDS the time off because she has a GRUELING New Zealand/Australia tour coming up.”
Then the measly subjects saw the “GRUELING” NZ/AU itinerary and could not help but notice that the two weeks that was marketed as SOOO grueling really seemed like an extended luxury vacation. Then the measly subjects were like, “HEY, were is Prince G!? We want to see this little guy!”
In the meantime, by the time this EXHAUSTING tour came about, The Diva only made FOUR (yes 4) royal appearances,. NONE of which were charity appearances:
02/11/14 – National Portrait Gallery Tour
02/14/14 – Opening of The ICAP Art Room
02/17/14 – Buckingham Palace Party (for TV/film actors)
03/17/14 – 1st Battalion Irish Guards for annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade
The 2nd Quarter started and this NZ/AU tour/luxury vacation that was suppose to be The Diva’s redemption from twirl-gate on Remembrance Day, the big flash at Place2Be and her three month haitus. However, it turned out to be an even bigger disaster with The Diva having a “Marilyn Monroe moment” in New Zealand – I call it a crotch shot – and a butt shot down under ….. no pun intended. lol
Ironically, this 2 week tour, with multiple visits per day, made up HALF of The Diva’s royal engagements this year. The wine tasting, the zoo visit, the play-date, the Opera House, the galleries ETC … OH SO EXHAUSTING! But do not worry, The Lazy Duo got four “rest days” during this debilitating tour staying at one of the worlds most beautiful luxury retreats. HOW TERRIBLE!
04/07/14 – 04/09/14 – R&R at the Wharekauhau Lodge Luxury Retreat
04/15/14 – New Zealand Rest Day
04/21/14 – Australia Rest Day
And after holding Prince G hostage for almost 10 months, they finally unveiled his plumpiness in New Zealand, like NOT Britain, the country they represent. #hugediss
Anyways, to end Quarter 2 The Diva made three more appearances in June. How nice of her!
06/06/14 – D-Day Normandy Visit
06/10/14 – National Maritime Museum & Garden Party (2)
Then the summer began. Looking back now and knowing that she was not pregnant and did not have HG, any big tours or basically ANY excuses to hold her back from working and making up for her terrible first half of the year she makes SIX (yes 0-6) appearances. Most notably, she made her FIRST – of three – charity appearances of the year. This is also the time when their PR agent peaced out … wonder why!? (sarcasm)
Quarter 3 – July-September, 2014 (92 Days):
Charitable Appearances (1):
07/01/14 – MPACT School Visit
Royal Duty Appearances (5):
07/05/14 – Tour de France Launch
07/28/14 – Day 1 – Commonwealth Games
07/29/14 – Day 2 – Commonwealth Games
08/04/14 – Solemn World War I Services
08/05/14 – Tower of London Amid Sea of Red Poppies
Royal Celebrity Appearances (1):
07/09/14 – Men’s Tennis Finals Wimbledon
The Diva made sure to spend more time at a tennis match that she has at any of her charities all year (like i said, she never lets us down with her entitlement and abuse of power). Then by the end of the quarter the Palace made a big announcement: The Diva is preggers with the spare. Then the Palace PR and media began a campaign of overusing and abusing the words grueling, debilitating and HG.
By the time the final quarter of the year came The Diva made a MIRACULOUS recovery from her death bed just in time to go to NYC for a St. Andrews reunion! But of course, they couldn’t go without justifying the visit …. what to choose?? what to choose!?? ENDANGERED SPECIES! YES! A SAFE CHARITY! And the measly subjects bought it! YESSSSSS. Diva #WINNING again! Boy does she love her perks and getting away with it!
Urgh! But The Diva had to WORK for this visit because she cancelled so many events in her won country!
Charitable Appearances (2):
11/12/14 – Sportsaid Workshop
11/25/14 – EACH Engagement
Royal Duty Appearances (21):
10/21/14 – State Visit Ceremonies & Photography Awards Gala
10/23/14 – Action on Addiction Gala
11/08/14 – Visit to the Pembroke Oil Refinery in Wales
11/10/14 – Remembrance Day
11/13/14 – Royal Variety Performance
11/19/14 – Place2be Wellbeing in Schools Awards Reception at Kensington Palace
So the year ended with The Diva lying once again for another free vacation. Read my NYC visit review here.
But of course the year could not officially end without some RF2.0 controversy. Why not invite the crew to Christmas with the royals, since all of the other in laws will be there ….. oh wait….. none of them are. But those pesky Middashians have to CASH IN one more time ….
To sum up the Diva’s year; She is still using her platform as her bathroom. She is #2ing all over it and expecting her “measly subjects” to deal with the smell.
MY WISH FOR 2015
- For the Diva to throw away her skinny jeans
- Tash to get fired
- For The Lazy Duo to choose SOMETHING, ANYTHING to be passionate about. You cannot support endangered species and then get caught HUNTING! I mean the stupidity of these two idiots is staggering.
In light of recent events, may I recommend an anti sex slavery trade charity? It seems like a good cause to start supporting in 2015.
Here are the official royal engagement numbers from 2011-2014. One word comes to mind: LAZY. Why? Because numbers never lie.
2014 Royal Engagement Numbers
2013 Royal Engagement Numbers
2012 Royal Engagement Numbers
2011 Royal Engagement Numbers